Star Wars Hotel California (Hostile Death Star Station)

Jedi Order PR Proudly Presents

"Hotel California (Hostile Death Star Station)"

The song is our very first parody and is inspired by The Eagles classic "Hotel California" but given the Star Wars treatment. It has a completely original comedy lyric and clips from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope & Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, propelling the lyric as a music video. The song was written, and sung by, yours truly!

If you like this then it may interest you to know that another parody is in production. Keep your eyes peeled on Twitter and we'll let you know when its available to view on our You Tube page and here on the blog.

Star Wars Hotel California (Hostile Death Star Station)

On a dark galactic highway, there's no wind in your hair
Warm smell of a Wookiee, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light

My head grew heavy and the Force grew dim
I had to land from the fright
Leia stood in the hatchway;
I heard a warning bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this aint heaven so I'll see you in hell’
Then she let go of the handle and she showed me the bay
Storm Troopers down the corridor,

I heard their com links say…

Welcome to this hostile Death Star Station
Such a nasty place (such a nasty place)
Such an evil face
Plenty of doom in this hostile battle station
Any time of year (any time of year), you'll find Vader here

His mind is bitterly-twisted, he's got an Emperor he tends
He's got a lot of Bounty Hunter guys, that he calls friends
How they march in the hangars, their destinies set.
The Old Republic they remember, but they choose to forget

So Vader calls up the captain,
’This rebel scum's mine’
He said, ’I will break your spirit here in cell number sixty nine’
And still dead Jedi's are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the fight
Just to hear them say...
 

We'll come to this hostile Death Star Station
And blow this place (and blow this place)
Right back in to space
Blowing stuff up was this hostile Death Star Station
Not a nice surprise (not a nice surprise), when your planet dies...

Luke has got a feeling,
Hoth is full of ice
And Leia said ’we are all just prisoners here, of this plot device’
And in the Wampa's chambers,
They gathered for a feast
Luke jabs it with his laser sword,
And then an arm drops off the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place my ship was before
’Relax,’ said Jedi Knight man,
My works done here, we can leave.
You can take off any time you like,
In the Force you must believe!

Lyrics by Jedi Order PR. Performed by The PR Director

Video edited byJedi Order PR & Plot 88 Productions

Based on Hotel California by The Eagles

The Man With The Midas Touch: John Barry 1933-2011

The output of this blog is usually comedic in nature but today we're taking a sombre tone in order to mark the passing of a true movie legend, and one of our music heroes. 

As a fan of cinema and film music it's only fitting we pay tribute to someone whose contribution to movies influenced and shaped the way in which movies are enjoyed to this day.

Fellow John Barry fan, movie buff and James Bond expert, Twitter's @DogHollywood contacted us to see if we would publish a tribute to John Barry, the movie genius who died today aged 77. Being fans of Star Wars, James Bond & movies in general, we of course, dutifully obliged...



DogHollywood writes: There are moments in your life that can contribute to who you are or who you may become. I can recall two of these moments because of the profound nature of the experience I had when I encountered each of them. One was during a James Bond film; the other was Star Wars. Both of these moments involved two greats of movie legend: John Barry & John Williams.

 

In August 1973 I went to see Roger Moore play James Bond in "Live & Let Die". I was nearly 8 years old and this was my first ever trip to a cinema to see a movie. I did not know at the time, but it was a double feature that day, and the movie that came on before the one I wanted to see, was "Goldfinger". 

The effect was nothing short of astonishing; a small dot appeared on screen followed by a man walking who shoots a gun to camera. It carried with it an iconic arrangement that would stay with me forever: John Barry's James Bond Theme Opening Gunbarrel. The rest is movie legend which kick started a love of James Bond, Bond music, motion pictures and film scores in general.

John Barry was the man behind that moment, from then on my life would never be the same again. Long after I was enthralled by Sean Connery (& subsequently Roger Moore) as Bond, John Barry's iconic music stayed with me. In later years, John Williams score would have the same effect when a 12 year old me saw a little film called "Star Wars".

The movies aside, one of the fundamental elements of any film is its music. John Barry understood this and could look at a film and instantly know what music would capture the mood on screen. The music involves you in the story, can make the hairs onthe back of your neck stand up, or even move you to tears. 

John Barry's contribution to movie music is an awesome body of work that included 12 James Bond films, The Ipcress File, Midnight Cowboy, Born Free, The Persuaders TV Theme, The Lion In Winter, King Kong, Chaplin, Out of Africa & Dances with Wolves to name but a few of nearly 100 films. (Not to mention George Lucas' turkey (pun intended) 'Howard The Duck').

Try thinking of all the major Hollywood blockbusters and chances are its been scored by John Barry or John Williams! Music is the movies as much as the star, or the merchandising.

Hum the opening bars of the James Bond Theme or The Imperial March & everybody knows instantly what it is and where it's from. How many things have that resonance and power, how many people truly achieve such genius.

I will miss John Barry, however he will live on in my iPod whenever one of his melodies comes on, or on a rainy bank holiday when James Bond is saving the world and getting the girl.

Thank you for the music, the memories and for bringing something in to my life that I will never ever tire of listening to: The Music of John Barry.

Dog Hollywood*, January 2010.

*Dog Hollywood is a movie/music/pop culture fan and expert in everything James Bond. You can follow him on Twitter @DogHollywood. 

Star Wars Candy Hearts

Star Wars Candy Hearts Inspired by a Twitter Meme Created by @WampaPR

"Bury your feelings...or they could be made to serve the Emperor"

Ben 'Obi-Wan' Kenobi

Orientation

"Move along...there's nothing to see here!"

The Empire's Secret Base On Earth: Revealed

There's has always been a deep suspicion within the Jedi ranks that the Empire had a garrison stationed on the distant Terran planet called Earth. We can exclusively reveal that this myth; is indeed fact.

Bothan Spies go un-noticed while undercover

Bothan spies, on a secret reconnaisance mission on Earth, recently uncovered evidence that the Empire has established a garrison in a place known as the 'Northern Territory' in Australia. 

This 'Tatooine' like location is the perfect place for the Empire to place an outpost in its attempt to enslave the Earth. It is remote, rugged and perfectly suited to Sand Troopers and their Dewbacks.

Our exclusive images, secretly captured by the Bothan spies do seem to substansiate this claim.  

Sand Troopers posing as 'Tourists' secretly photographed by Bothan Spies

  
Suspicion's that the Empire had a base of operations originally centred on the Australian city of Sydney. However, recent intelligence suggests that this is merely the location of an office claiming to be a 'radical PR firm' with links to the Empire.

As the Bothan's began to delve deeper in to this shocking story, the more evidence they uncovered. 

Using a primitive Earthican technology known only as 'Google', the Bothans were able to identify the location of the Empire outpost. It's revealed here for the very first time.  

Many Bothan's died to bring us this information.

This information, however, has come to us at a very heavy price. Despite their uncanny ability to 'seemlessly' blend in to any environment and going un-noticed, many Bothan spies have mysteriously disappeared. 

Speculation is rife that they have been captured or killed. Some say they may have become so ingrained in the culture they may have become 'naturalised' and are passing themselves off as 'surfer dudes'.

Either way, the Bothan's managed to find the one piece of hard evidence that the Empire does have a garrison in the Northern Territories. This so called 'Jedi Holy Grail' of evidence is hard to deny.

Tourism NT's Official logo and it's uncanny resemblance to the Death Star

It seems that the willing partners of this Imperial base have incorporated an iconic Empire image into their PR material. The image seen right is the official logo of 'Northern Territory Australia: Tourism NT'. Look closely at that so called 'setting sun'. Look familiar?

We are convinced beyond doubt, that the Empire has formed an alliance of evil, and a sinister plot to take over the Earth is already underway.

A Campaign Message From Master Yoda

"So, began the Shorty Awards have...

I sense much fear in you. but afraid to vote for Jedi Order PR, you must not be. 

A vote flows from the Force, and a powerful vote it will be, for the Force is our ally. It surrounds us, penetrates us and binds the Shorty Awards together. 

When voted for Jedi Order PR have you, the last of your voting will this be. Then, only then, will the Force be with you.

Click the image below and for JEDI ORDER PR, in #STARWARS, you must VOTE..."

Master Yoda

The 3rd Annual Shorty Awards

If you want to save the galaxy from the evil Empire then do the decent and vote for us by clicking the image below:

The Shorty Awards honor the best people and organizations on Twitter and social media. Nominations may be made through Twitter and the Shorty Awards website.

The community is invited to nominate Twitter users for excellence over the past year. Each award recognizes each content creator's entire body of work, not just an individual tweet. Nominations are made by sending a tweet, whether it's through this site or on Twitter.

Vote for Jedi Order PR in the '#Star Wars' Category today!