Disney Star Wars

IMAGE OF THE DAY:

DISNEY ACQUIRES LUCASFILM FOR $4 BILLION

PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENT

Old Flames

*London 2012 Olympic Games Exclusive*

Our friends the Bothan spies scored another scoop this week. 

Ahead of last Friday's Danny Boyle's Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic Games, speculation was rife about who would be igniting the cauldron with the iconic Olympic Flame.

However, as we revealed on Twitter (a full 5 hours before the ceremony), the Empire's closely guarded secret was busted; thanks to those fearless Bothan's.

So, there you have it, Lord Vader lit the cauldron and watched those famous flames rise. Ironic really, since Luke will do the same thing to the Dark Lord himself at some point in his future. After all, it is his destiny!

Choices

SO YOU THINK MAKING A CHOICE IS EASY? 

BEFORE DECIDING YOUR FATE; JUST REMEMBER:

THERE'S ALWAYS A CATCH!

Siri

Destiny

"I like suggestion number 5: If all else fails; try throwing your boss down the nearest reactor shaft."

Rehab

Father's Day

Space Vaders

Stormtrooper Downtime...

"Hey, I Got One - Great Kid, don't get cocky!"

The Ides of March

Because you never know when 'one of your own' will stab you in the back. 

We know it was you Anakin.

Spot The Difference

Leaking out from an un-named source today, it has emerged that Darth Vader not only had the ear of the Emperor, but it seems he may have had that of the 'King' as well. 

 

Evidence has emerged documenting the moment that the Dark Lord met Elvis Presley, a famed 'Rock & Roll' star from Earth. Despite the fact that Lord Vader is notoriously tone deaf, it's been revealed he was a huge fan of the Earthling King's recordings. 

Over the last few years there had been speculation that Vader had been known to 'download' 'rock & roll' songs to is chest plate iPod and let's face it; when you've heard the Imperial March once, you've heard it a thousand times.

 
 
However we can reveal today that this photograph may have been faked and the whole thing is the product of some sneaky PR. We have obtained other so called 'Meet The King' photographs, and things look very dodgy indeed. Judge for yourself and see if you can spot the real* from the fake**...

*The original photograph is the one taken with the then President Richard 'Tricky Dickie' Nixon. 
**Jar Jar Binks never met the President but was implicated in the Watergate affair & remains a hated figure in America to this day.

"Jedi Hero: Duelling Lightsabers"

Memo to George: Get This Made Now!

Forget strumming away on a plastic guitar this holiday season, here at Jedi Order PR, the game that would top our Christmas wish list would be "Jedi Hero: Duelling Lightsabers".

Imagine sparking up your very own Lightsaber and taking on some of the greatest characters ever to pick up the awesome laser sword this side of the Outer Rim!

Testing your Lightsaber skills to the limit challenging the likes of Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader, Yoda, Mace Windu, Darth Maul and many more in a series of ultimate lightsaber duels set in stunningly rendered Star Wars locations.

Would you choose to become a legendary Jedi Master or an evil Sith Lord, the fate of the galaxy could well depend on it? This game would be so awesome and light years ahead of any other Star Wars game ever seen! We can but dream!

'Jedi Hero: Duelling Lightsabers' - Coming soon only in a galaxy far, far away...

"What Is Thy Bidding, My Master?"

Darth Vader's outfit being auctioned off*

When it comes to budget cuts it seems not even the fearsome Darth Vader is spared. A cash strapped Empire is making drastic budget cuts in its spending, possibly to fund their ongoing galactic war or maybe to build the Death Star 3 (after the Rebel Alliance blew up the last two).

So it would seem that Lord Vader is being 'forced' to sell off one of his iconic outfits in order to raise some much needed cash. 

The suit in question is the one Vader wore when confronting Luke in the infamous 'I am your father' encounter on Cloud City. Some critics however, have suggested that, in a move not untypical of the Dark Lord, the costume may be a 'prop replica'.

Lately, Darth Vader has come under increasing pressure from Emperor Palpatine in order to reign in the spending on arms, ammunition and the spiralling costs of failing to destroy Luke Skywalker or crush the Rebellion. This cost is rumoured to run in to the trillions of Galactic Credits.

Darth Vader seeks a Galactic Bail out

The auction of the costume, due to take place on the Death Star, is expected to attract Darth Vader memorabilia collectors, bounty hunters and even a few 'Rebel Scum'. All eyeing up a potential investment and a rare piece of Imperial Memorabilia. 

The Empire is currently seeking a bail out from the IMF (Intergalactic Monetry Fund), since it was revealed it had not paid back the original loans to the Geonosians, for the construction of Death Stars 1 & 2. Adding to this are the heavy loses the Empire has suffered on Hoth and Endor, not to mention all the compensation claims and lawsuits it has to pay as a result of its bungled operations throughout the galaxy. 

No doubt Lord Vader will be finding his 'lack of cash' disturbing and will be hoping his outfit fetches the valuation price of a quarter of a million credits.

Hold up, isn't that Lord Vader?

If it fails to make a garrison of cash for Vader; he may find he will have to part with his treasured stash of vintage Jedi action figures, all mint condition and still in their original blister packs, of course. Or even, heaven forbid, his treasured Slave Leia Outfit, a gift from the late Jabba the Hutt.

 

Maybe Vader's sad devotion to the ancient Sith religion may help conjure up some much needed cash. If not he can always return to robbing banks as our exclusive picture reveals. Looks like he's sold his Lightsaber off as well...

Instead of saying "What is thy bidding, my Master..?" to the Emperor, maybe  he should be asking: "What are YOU bidding, my Master?"

*The original Darth Vader costume is to be auctioned off at Sotheby's on Thursday 25th November 2010 and is expected to fetch around £250,000.

Meet The Skywalkers

"Defeat The Empire" Propaganda Poster