Choices

SO YOU THINK MAKING A CHOICE IS EASY? 

BEFORE DECIDING YOUR FATE; JUST REMEMBER:

THERE'S ALWAYS A CATCH!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year from Jedi Order PR!

Cucumbers

The Rebellion unleashed its latest attack on the Empire this week. No, there were no trench run style assaults on an exhaust port or sabotaging of a reactor core. This attack was far more subtle, and deadly…

In an attempt to introduce a "5 a day" style healthier option to meals in the Death Star Cantina, the Empire has banished Bantha Burgers and Fries to the airlock in favour of salad. Yes, plain old healthy salad with no saturated fat and no added sugar or salt. Or so they thought...

Vegetable Plot: The Stolen Death Star Cantina Menu

Cannon Fodder Imperial Troops have been getting fat on a poor diet of un-healthy food lately, so what better way to improve their diet (before they die in battle at the hands of the Rebellion), than a serving of fresh salad.   

The Rebellion's ever dwindling friends, the Bothan Spies, obtained the secret plans to the Death Star Cantina Menu and the Rebellion's "Operation Waldorf Salad" began to bear fruit (and veg).

A Top Rebel Chef

Obtaining a "particularly virulent" crate of  ecoli infected cucumbers from the Northern Region of Germany, Rebel Chef's began re-creating the Empire Menu (shown above) with salads, baguettes, wraps and a host of delicious dishes.

These would then be packed in Empire crates and shipped to the Death Star. Universal Exports, would act as the shipping agents to transport the deadly food to the Death Star Cantina where other agents on board would take care of the rest.

Cross Section of a deadly cucumber

Soon reports were surfacing of Stormtroopers falling ill to a 'mystery illness'. The Empire attempted to gag the press with a so called "Super Injunction" taken out by "evil legal eagle" @DarkSideLawyer, on @LordPalpatine's request.  

However, this could not contain the leak of information, regarding the outbreak, coming from social media sites like "Forcebook" on board the Death Star. The Rebellion's plan was working, and like the outbreak, word was spreading FAST.

The dramatic image below, was posted on Jedi Order PR's "Forcebook" page. It shows a Legion of mutated "Salad Troopers" in the grip of the zombie like outbreak.  

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Cucumbers - "Salad Troopers" in the grip of the cucumber ecoli outbreak

Emperor Palpatine's Spa Day goes horribly wrong

So for now, it seems the 'salad days' of the Empire may be coming to an end and the Rebellion can avoid a costly all out attack on the Death Star. All thanks to the innocuous cucumber, a true "weapon of mass destruction" (or should that be consumption), if there ever was. 

As you can see from this exclusive image, taken on one of our Bothan Spies mobile phone, even the Emperor himself has succumbed to cucumber zombification...Operation Waldorf Salad has been a complete success.

JOPR on Twitter:

"We've replaced all the cucumbers on the Death Star with a fresh batch direct from Germany. Bon Appetite, guys.#jedicare #ecoli *

*This post was inspired by the cucumber tweet by Jedi Order PR

The Ides of March

Because you never know when 'one of your own' will stab you in the back. 

We know it was you Anakin.

Awful Supergroups

Today on Twitter saw the latest top trend include the hashtag: #awfulsupergroups

Here is Jedi Order PR's post presented in visual form & without comment.

Bad Shots

Today's Top Tweet:

"Found a Stormtrooper claiming to have ACTUALLY HIT SOMETHING! 

We told him 'his head on the top of a door' doesn't count." Jedi Order PR

Spot The Difference

Leaking out from an un-named source today, it has emerged that Darth Vader not only had the ear of the Emperor, but it seems he may have had that of the 'King' as well. 

 

Evidence has emerged documenting the moment that the Dark Lord met Elvis Presley, a famed 'Rock & Roll' star from Earth. Despite the fact that Lord Vader is notoriously tone deaf, it's been revealed he was a huge fan of the Earthling King's recordings. 

Over the last few years there had been speculation that Vader had been known to 'download' 'rock & roll' songs to is chest plate iPod and let's face it; when you've heard the Imperial March once, you've heard it a thousand times.

 
 
However we can reveal today that this photograph may have been faked and the whole thing is the product of some sneaky PR. We have obtained other so called 'Meet The King' photographs, and things look very dodgy indeed. Judge for yourself and see if you can spot the real* from the fake**...

*The original photograph is the one taken with the then President Richard 'Tricky Dickie' Nixon. 
**Jar Jar Binks never met the President but was implicated in the Watergate affair & remains a hated figure in America to this day.

Star Wars Hotel California (Hostile Death Star Station)

Jedi Order PR Proudly Presents

"Hotel California (Hostile Death Star Station)"

The song is our very first parody and is inspired by The Eagles classic "Hotel California" but given the Star Wars treatment. It has a completely original comedy lyric and clips from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope & Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, propelling the lyric as a music video. The song was written, and sung by, yours truly!

If you like this then it may interest you to know that another parody is in production. Keep your eyes peeled on Twitter and we'll let you know when its available to view on our You Tube page and here on the blog.

Star Wars Hotel California (Hostile Death Star Station)

On a dark galactic highway, there's no wind in your hair
Warm smell of a Wookiee, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light

My head grew heavy and the Force grew dim
I had to land from the fright
Leia stood in the hatchway;
I heard a warning bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this aint heaven so I'll see you in hell’
Then she let go of the handle and she showed me the bay
Storm Troopers down the corridor,

I heard their com links say…

Welcome to this hostile Death Star Station
Such a nasty place (such a nasty place)
Such an evil face
Plenty of doom in this hostile battle station
Any time of year (any time of year), you'll find Vader here

His mind is bitterly-twisted, he's got an Emperor he tends
He's got a lot of Bounty Hunter guys, that he calls friends
How they march in the hangars, their destinies set.
The Old Republic they remember, but they choose to forget

So Vader calls up the captain,
’This rebel scum's mine’
He said, ’I will break your spirit here in cell number sixty nine’
And still dead Jedi's are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the fight
Just to hear them say...
 

We'll come to this hostile Death Star Station
And blow this place (and blow this place)
Right back in to space
Blowing stuff up was this hostile Death Star Station
Not a nice surprise (not a nice surprise), when your planet dies...

Luke has got a feeling,
Hoth is full of ice
And Leia said ’we are all just prisoners here, of this plot device’
And in the Wampa's chambers,
They gathered for a feast
Luke jabs it with his laser sword,
And then an arm drops off the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place my ship was before
’Relax,’ said Jedi Knight man,
My works done here, we can leave.
You can take off any time you like,
In the Force you must believe!

Lyrics by Jedi Order PR. Performed by The PR Director

Video edited byJedi Order PR & Plot 88 Productions

Based on Hotel California by The Eagles

Orientation

"Move along...there's nothing to see here!"

The Empire's Secret Base On Earth: Revealed

There's has always been a deep suspicion within the Jedi ranks that the Empire had a garrison stationed on the distant Terran planet called Earth. We can exclusively reveal that this myth; is indeed fact.

Bothan Spies go un-noticed while undercover

Bothan spies, on a secret reconnaisance mission on Earth, recently uncovered evidence that the Empire has established a garrison in a place known as the 'Northern Territory' in Australia. 

This 'Tatooine' like location is the perfect place for the Empire to place an outpost in its attempt to enslave the Earth. It is remote, rugged and perfectly suited to Sand Troopers and their Dewbacks.

Our exclusive images, secretly captured by the Bothan spies do seem to substansiate this claim.  

Sand Troopers posing as 'Tourists' secretly photographed by Bothan Spies

  
Suspicion's that the Empire had a base of operations originally centred on the Australian city of Sydney. However, recent intelligence suggests that this is merely the location of an office claiming to be a 'radical PR firm' with links to the Empire.

As the Bothan's began to delve deeper in to this shocking story, the more evidence they uncovered. 

Using a primitive Earthican technology known only as 'Google', the Bothans were able to identify the location of the Empire outpost. It's revealed here for the very first time.  

Many Bothan's died to bring us this information.

This information, however, has come to us at a very heavy price. Despite their uncanny ability to 'seemlessly' blend in to any environment and going un-noticed, many Bothan spies have mysteriously disappeared. 

Speculation is rife that they have been captured or killed. Some say they may have become so ingrained in the culture they may have become 'naturalised' and are passing themselves off as 'surfer dudes'.

Either way, the Bothan's managed to find the one piece of hard evidence that the Empire does have a garrison in the Northern Territories. This so called 'Jedi Holy Grail' of evidence is hard to deny.

Tourism NT's Official logo and it's uncanny resemblance to the Death Star

It seems that the willing partners of this Imperial base have incorporated an iconic Empire image into their PR material. The image seen right is the official logo of 'Northern Territory Australia: Tourism NT'. Look closely at that so called 'setting sun'. Look familiar?

We are convinced beyond doubt, that the Empire has formed an alliance of evil, and a sinister plot to take over the Earth is already underway.

A Campaign Message From Master Yoda

"So, began the Shorty Awards have...

I sense much fear in you. but afraid to vote for Jedi Order PR, you must not be. 

A vote flows from the Force, and a powerful vote it will be, for the Force is our ally. It surrounds us, penetrates us and binds the Shorty Awards together. 

When voted for Jedi Order PR have you, the last of your voting will this be. Then, only then, will the Force be with you.

Click the image below and for JEDI ORDER PR, in #STARWARS, you must VOTE..."

Master Yoda

The 3rd Annual Shorty Awards

If you want to save the galaxy from the evil Empire then do the decent and vote for us by clicking the image below:

The Shorty Awards honor the best people and organizations on Twitter and social media. Nominations may be made through Twitter and the Shorty Awards website.

The community is invited to nominate Twitter users for excellence over the past year. Each award recognizes each content creator's entire body of work, not just an individual tweet. Nominations are made by sending a tweet, whether it's through this site or on Twitter.

Vote for Jedi Order PR in the '#Star Wars' Category today!

 

A New Year, A New Hope

It's been an incredible year for Jedi Order PR, we've gone from "Zero to Hero" since we opened our PR office and unleashed it on the galaxy, way back in July 2010.

We would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for your support and wish you all a Happy & Prosperous New Year - The Force will be with you, Always!  

Make it your New Year's Resolution to join us in 2011, where the struggle to free the galaxy from the clutches of the evil Empire, will continue...

Jedi Order PR

Have A Merry Jedi Noel!

The Jedi Order's Official 2010 'Jedi Noel' Greetings eCard

Wishing you all peace and happiness from Master Yoda, the members of the Jedi Council and Jedi Order PR...and may the Force be with you!

"Jedi Hero: Duelling Lightsabers"

Memo to George: Get This Made Now!

Forget strumming away on a plastic guitar this holiday season, here at Jedi Order PR, the game that would top our Christmas wish list would be "Jedi Hero: Duelling Lightsabers".

Imagine sparking up your very own Lightsaber and taking on some of the greatest characters ever to pick up the awesome laser sword this side of the Outer Rim!

Testing your Lightsaber skills to the limit challenging the likes of Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader, Yoda, Mace Windu, Darth Maul and many more in a series of ultimate lightsaber duels set in stunningly rendered Star Wars locations.

Would you choose to become a legendary Jedi Master or an evil Sith Lord, the fate of the galaxy could well depend on it? This game would be so awesome and light years ahead of any other Star Wars game ever seen! We can but dream!

'Jedi Hero: Duelling Lightsabers' - Coming soon only in a galaxy far, far away...

Rebellion PR: "The Return of the Rebel"

Today saw the return of Rebellion PR after a two week absence after the original account went offline and was frozen in carbonite.

This is not the first time this has happened. Rebel Alliance PR went the same way some weeks after a successful launch on Twitter back in August 2010. Swiftly returning with renewed vigour; Rebellion PR soon had over 2800 followers before its sudden disappearance in early November.

A source close to Rebellion PR said: "The Rebels were having a tough time, a 'crisis of faith' if you will." So what happened and why the sudden dramatic return? 

It seems this so called 'crisis of faith' comes down to a number of factors: Twitter trolls, Tweeters block and follower backlash to 'contoversial & often edgy' material, have all been cited as reasons to why Rebellion PR shut down quicker than C-3PO on a bad day. The truth is harder to come by however.

A Bothan spy told us: "Rebellion PR had enormous success with their brand of  'random' tweets, but behind the success, the Rebels were becoming increasingly bored and frustrated with the twitter experience". 

After they had disappeared, a meme called #RememberRebellionPR was started by us here at Jedi Order PR, to keep the spirit of the Rebels alive on Twitter. It seems this meme was a success because lurking in the shadows, secretly evaluating the comments, was the Rebellion's Head of PR - quietly plotting a dramatic return when the time was right*.

Like most clever PR, this whole episode could be construed as merely a sly publicity stunt. We believe, like Star Wars itself, it's a story that's ultimately about redemption. The Rebels live to self destruct, only to emerge some time later, but more powerful than you could possibly imagine...

*Rebellion PR is back on Twitter as @Rebellion_PR and this time they're back for good...well, for now.

Mace Windu

 


"I'm Mace, and Windu's 7 was my idea."

  

Mace Windu. Cool, sophisticated Jedi Master with a unique purple Lightsaber and a host of snappy lines that rivalled Yoda's in the Jedi Temple. Boy was he badass. He had a deep distrust of Annakin Skywalker and made no secret of it!

Why was it then, that this less then, *ahem*, 'superfly' Jedi Master was ultimately destroyed by his own arrogance at the hands of the puny but powerful Dark Lord, Darth Sidious, AKA Chancellor Palpatine? 

Perhaps it was down to his own cocky attitude and belief that he was 'so badass' he was invincible. Either way we shall never know, but one thing is certain: when it comes to death by 'defenestration', it's not the fall from a great height that will kill you; it's the pavement below.

It is believed Mace Windu's favourite song was "I Believe I Can Fly" by R.Kelly, which is ironic really considering the way in which he met his demise.

Meet The Skywalkers

"Happy Halloween!"

"I'm not using a pumpkin for my Jack O'Lantern tonight. I'm using Jango Fett's helmet. Looks awesome with a candle in it." Jedi Order PR

Star Claws

Meow! Kitty-Cat Kenobi

   

"Nine lives? Pffft! Who needs nine lives when you're packing the coolest weapon in the galaxy?!"