"Some Like It Hoth"

"Psst, anyone got any, erm, 'ice'?"

Revelations from Princess Leia that she took drugs while stationed on Hoth sent shock waves throughout the galaxy this week. We caught up with Leia yesterday for an exclusive interview on the whole shocking 'episode'...

JOPR: Your Highness, thank you for taking the time to see us. 

PL: You're welcome, I'm glad we finally got the chance to meet.

JOPR: Your revelations about your time on Hoth have caused quite a stir this week, why did you want to tell this story now?

PL: I felt the time was right, you know, to 'come clean' as it were, and I had 'a bad feeling' about it being revealed by a third party.

JOPR: And that 'third party' might be? 

PL: Well I wouldn't like to say exactly, I don't want to point fingers, just some laser brain out to make a fast credit. 

JOPR: You were quoted as saying "I didn’t like Hoth that much, it was just a case of getting on whatever transporter I needed to take to get in to orbit." What did you mean by this?

PL: When you're stationed on a secret Rebel Base for months it can get to you. There's the pressure of leading the Rebellion, and, wanting to fit in. I didn't just want to be 'the spoiled little rich kid' who bossed people around. So I turned to drugs as a release from that pressure.

JOPR: Did you think that this could send out the 'wrong impression' to the Rebels stationed with you? 

PL: At first, but nobody actually saw me 'take' anything, I did it in the Freezer.

JOPR: The Freezer?

PL: Yes, sorry, my own quarters, that's what we called our private quarters,  they didn't have any heating!

JOPR: *Laughs*, Oh I see. So how did you manage to score these drugs?

PL: A young Rebel, *name deleted* used to supply 'ice' to many officers. We used to meet out by the second marker. 

JOPR: Weren't you worried your Tauntaun would freeze before you got to the first marker?

PL: No, I would send a 'representative' - I'm not stupid, I didn't want to get caught and there's Wampa's out there!

"After Alderaan, it was a dark time for the Rebellion. Hoth was a very in-hospitable place. There was no Obi-Wan around to offer me any hope, and then there was the whole Han/Luke thing..." Princess Leia

JOPR: Isn't taking drugs a the path to the Dark Side?

PL: You have to understand, I had been tortured by Vader, imprisoned on the Death Star and watched as Alderaan was blown to bits. I was in a Dark place, for sure, I had demons. The Force is not that strong in my family, but I would never turn, nobody in my family would, it's unthinkable.

JOPR: And the future?

PL: I'm clean now* and looking forward to freeing Han from Jabba's Palace and the carbonite. Hopefully it will go well, last thing I need right now is to get caught trying to free him and ending up a prisoner myself!

I hear Jabba makes women prisoners wear some really skimpy outfits and chains them to his side. Imagine that, it would be so degrading! I'm taking some Thermal Detonators with me just in case!

JOPR: Indeed your Worship, well good luck with that.

PL: Thank you, but I'm sure I'll be fine! And don't call me 'Your Worship' you scruffy looking Nerf Herder!

JOPR: *Laughing*. Thank you for your time today your Highness, and May the Force be with you.

PL: May the Force be with you, and keep up the good work on Twitter.

* Princess Leia has checked out of the Jedi Priory and is a keen supporter of the 'Rethink Your Life' campaign and is now an advisor on drug and death stick addiction.