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Wednesday, 24 November 2010

"What Is Thy Bidding, My Master?"

Darth Vader's outfit being auctioned off*
When it comes to budget cuts it seems not even the fearsome Darth Vader is spared. A cash strapped Empire is making drastic budget cuts in its spending, possibly to fund their ongoing galactic war or maybe to build the Death Star 3 (after the Rebel Alliance blew up the last two).
So it would seem that Lord Vader is being 'forced' to sell off one of his iconic outfits in order to raise some much needed cash. 
The suit in question is the one Vader wore when confronting Luke in the infamous 'I am your father' encounter on Cloud City. Some critics however, have suggested that, in a move not untypical of the Dark Lord, the costume may be a 'prop replica'.

Lately, Darth Vader has come under increasing pressure from Emperor Palpatine in order to reign in the spending on arms, ammunition and the spiralling costs of failing to destroy Luke Skywalker or crush the Rebellion. This cost is rumoured to run in to the trillions of Galactic Credits.

Darth Vader seeks a Galactic Bail out
The auction of the costume, due to take place on the Death Star, is expected to attract Darth Vader memorabilia collectors, bounty hunters and even a few 'Rebel Scum'. All eyeing up a potential investment and a rare piece of Imperial Memorabilia. 
The Empire is currently seeking a bail out from the IMF (Intergalactic Monetry Fund), since it was revealed it had not paid back the original loans to the Geonosians, for the construction of Death Stars 1 & 2. Adding to this are the heavy loses the Empire has suffered on Hoth and Endor, not to mention all the compensation claims and lawsuits it has to pay as a result of its bungled operations throughout the galaxy. 
No doubt Lord Vader will be finding his 'lack of cash' disturbing and will be hoping his outfit fetches the valuation price of a quarter of a million credits.

Hold up, isn't that Lord Vader?
If it fails to make a garrison of cash for Vader; he may find he will have to part with his treasured stash of vintage Jedi action figures, all mint condition and still in their original blister packs, of course. Or even, heaven forbid, his treasured Slave Leia Outfit, a gift from the late Jabba the Hutt.
 
Maybe Vader's sad devotion to the ancient Sith religion may help conjure up some much needed cash. If not he can always return to robbing banks as our exclusive picture reveals. Looks like he's sold his Lightsaber off as well...

Instead of saying "What is thy bidding, my Master..?" to the Emperor, maybe  he should be asking: "What are YOU bidding, my Master?"

*The original Darth Vader costume is to be auctioned off at Sotheby's on Thursday 25th November 2010 and is expected to fetch around £250,000.

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Rebellion PR: "The Return of the Rebel"


Today saw the return of Rebellion PR after a two week absence after the original account went offline and was frozen in carbonite.

This is not the first time this has happened. Rebel Alliance PR went the same way some weeks after a successful launch on Twitter back in August 2010. Swiftly returning with renewed vigour; Rebellion PR soon had over 2800 followers before its sudden disappearance in early November.

A source close to Rebellion PR said: "The Rebels were having a tough time, a 'crisis of faith' if you will." So what happened and why the sudden dramatic return? 

It seems this so called 'crisis of faith' comes down to a number of factors: Twitter trolls, Tweeters block and follower backlash to 'contoversial & often edgy' material, have all been cited as reasons to why Rebellion PR shut down quicker than C-3PO on a bad day. The truth is harder to come by however.

A Bothan spy told us: "Rebellion PR had enormous success with their brand of  'random' tweets, but behind the success, the Rebels were becoming increasingly bored and frustrated with the twitter experience". 

After they had disappeared, a meme called #RememberRebellionPR was started by us here at Jedi Order PR, to keep the spirit of the Rebels alive on Twitter. It seems this meme was a success because lurking in the shadows, secretly evaluating the comments, was the Rebellion's Head of PR - quietly plotting a dramatic return when the time was right*.

Like most clever PR, this whole episode could be construed as merely a sly publicity stunt. We believe, like Star Wars itself, it's a story that's ultimately about redemption. The Rebels live to self destruct, only to emerge some time later, but more powerful than you could possibly imagine...

*Rebellion PR is back on Twitter as @Rebellion_PR and this time they're back for good...well, for now.

Mace Windu

 


"I'm Mace, and Windu's 7 was my idea."




  


Mace Windu. Cool, sophisticated Jedi Master with a unique purple Lightsaber and a host of snappy lines that rivalled Yoda's in the Jedi Temple. Boy was he badass. He had a deep distrust of Annakin Skywalker and made no secret of it!

Why was it then, that this less then, *ahem*, 'superfly' Jedi Master was ultimately destroyed by his own arrogance at the hands of the puny but powerful Dark Lord, Darth Sidious, AKA Chancellor Palpatine? 

Perhaps it was down to his own cocky attitude and belief that he was 'so badass' he was invincible. Either way we shall never know, but one thing is certain: when it comes to death by 'defenestration', it's not the fall from a great height that will kill you; it's the pavement below.

It is believed Mace Windu's favourite song was "I Believe I Can Fly" by R.Kelly, which is ironic really considering the way in which he met his demise.